Does Dementia Skip a Generation? What Runs in Families and What Does Not

Does dementia skip a generation? It is one of the first questions grown children ask me, usually quietly, after a parent is diagnosed. Behind it is another one: will this happen to me.

The short answer is no, dementia does not skip generations in any reliable way. Most cases are not directly inherited, and having a parent with dementia raises risk only somewhat. Other answers below may surprise you, including what anesthesia does or does not do. I am Mike McClernon, a senior living advisor with a dementia care certification, not a doctor, so use this to prepare for questions to your own physician.

Does dementia skip a generation?

No. Dementia does not follow a skip a generation pattern. A grandparent having it and a parent not having it does not mean you are in the clear, and a parent having it does not mean you will get it. The belief likely comes from how many people live long enough to develop it, and from how many families only notice it in some relatives.

Dementia is a set of symptoms with many causes, including Alzheimer’s disease, vascular disease, Lewy body disease and frontotemporal disease. Age is the biggest risk factor, and in most families the picture is a mix of age, health, genes and lifestyle.

A few rare forms of early onset Alzheimer’s and frontotemporal dementia are linked to specific gene changes that pass from parent to child. If several close relatives developed dementia young, talk with your doctor about genetic counseling. I go further into this in whether dementia is hereditary.

Does dementia run in families?

Sometimes it clusters, but running in a family is different from being guaranteed. Having a parent or sibling with Alzheimer’s raises the odds a bit compared with having none. Most people with a relative who had dementia never develop it themselves, and many people with no family history do.

Question	General answer
Does a parent with dementia mean I will get it?	Risk goes up somewhat, but it is not certain
Can it skip a generation?	There is no reliable skipping pattern
Are some forms strongly inherited?	A few rare early onset forms are
Can I lower my own risk?	Research suggests heart health, activity, hearing care and social life help
Should I get a gene test?	Ask a doctor or genetic counselor first, since results can be hard to interpret

What you can control is worth the effort. Studies suggest that managing blood pressure and diabetes, staying active, protecting your hearing, avoiding smoking, sleeping well and staying connected with people may lower risk. Ask your doctor what to prioritize. Planning is another form of control, and it includes paperwork, which is why whether someone with dementia can sign legal documents in New York matters so much to families with a diagnosis.

Can anesthesia cause dementia?

The current evidence does not show that anesthesia causes dementia. It can, however, cause temporary confusion after surgery, called postoperative delirium, especially in older adults and in people who already have memory problems. That confusion usually clears, though sometimes it takes weeks.

Researchers have studied whether anesthesia speeds up long term decline, and the results so far are mixed. Surgery itself, the illness behind it, pain, medicines and a hospital stay can all play a part. I would not tell anyone to skip a needed operation based on this fear.

If your parent has memory problems and surgery is planned, ask these questions.

• Please tell the anesthesiologist about the memory problem before the day of surgery.
• Can the plan reduce medicines that worsen confusion?
• Can a family member stay close during recovery to help orient them?
• What signs of delirium should we call about?

Bring glasses, hearing aids and familiar items to the hospital. A calm, familiar face helps more than most people expect.

Is dementia a disability?

In many legal and benefit settings, yes, dementia can qualify as a disability, because it limits major life activities such as thinking, working and caring for oneself. Whether your parent qualifies for a specific benefit depends on that program’s rules, which change over time.

For example, people who develop dementia before retirement age may be able to apply for Social Security disability benefits, and some programs have faster review for certain early onset conditions. Older adults may look at other programs, including veterans benefits and Medicaid, depending on income and assets. I cannot give legal or benefit advice, so please confirm current rules with the county or an elder law attorney.

Disability also matters at work and in daily life. Employers and public places may have to make reasonable adjustments. And a diagnosis does not remove a person’s rights. Whenever possible, your parent should help decide who handles money and health choices. If they are still able, now is the time to put documents in place. When insurance is part of your plan, whether long term care insurance is worth it is a useful read, though policies have conditions and a diagnosis can limit new coverage.

When should someone with dementia go into a care home?

When safety, health or the caregiver’s well being can no longer be protected at home. There is no single date, and most families I meet say they wish they had started looking sooner.

Signs it may be time

• Wandering, getting lost or leaving doors open.
• Falls, burns, or a stove left on.
• Missed medicine, weight loss or poor eating.
• Day and night mixed up, with the caregiver unable to sleep.
• Aggression or evening agitation that is hard to manage.
• The caregiver is ill, exhausted or struggling to cope.

Which kind of community fits

Assisted living suits someone who needs some help but is mostly independent. Memory care is assisted living designed for people with dementia, with secured space, routines and trained staff. On Long Island and in Queens there are about 47 memory care programs, 42 inside larger assisted living communities and 5 free standing. See our memory care overview and the Alzheimer’s and dementia memory care guide for how to choose.

Moving someone with dementia is a delicate process. Your parent may not agree that they need help, which is common. I explain why in do people with dementia know they have it.

What calming activities help dementia patients?

The best calming activities are simple, familiar and matched to what the person used to enjoy. Music, touch, movement and memories tend to work when words do not. Success is a calmer afternoon, not a perfect activity.

• Music from their young adult years, played softly, or singing along.
• Looking through photo albums and talking about the people in them.
• Folding laundry, sorting buttons or wiping a table, which gives a sense of purpose.
• A short walk outdoors, or sitting in a sunny spot.
• Hand massage with unscented lotion, if they welcome touch.
• Simple puzzles, matching games or painting with large brushes.
• Time with a calm pet, if the person likes animals.

Late in the day is often the hardest time. Sun down dementia and what eases it offers more ideas, and reminiscence therapy for dementia shows how to turn memories into a calming routine. If something upsets your parent, stop and try another day. Every person is different.

What should you do now if a parent has dementia?

Focus on what you can do this month, not on what may or may not happen to you in twenty years. Worry about your own risk is natural, but the best use of that energy is helping your parent and taking good care of your own health.

1. Make sure your parent has a doctor who knows about the memory changes.
2. Put legal and financial documents in order while your parent can still take part.
3. Make a shared plan with siblings for who does what.
4. Look at the finances for care, including insurance and benefits, with an elder law attorney.
5. Visit a few communities early, so you know what you like before you need it.
6. Look after your own checkups, sleep and blood pressure.

Many families tell me that the plan itself brought relief. Knowing where a parent will live if care needs grow, and how it will be paid for, lets everyone return to just being family. That is the part I try to help with.

Talking it through with Mike in Glen Cove

Worrying about your own risk while caring for a parent is a lot to carry. I am Mike McClernon of Assisted Living Locators of Long Island, and my help is free to families. Communities compensate me when a family moves in. I have toured more than 90 communities across Nassau County, Suffolk County and Queens, and I plan 18 to 24 months ahead so the next step is never a scramble.

My office is at 42 Prospect Ave, Glen Cove, NY 11542. Contact Mike for a first call, or visit the dementia memory care guide to start exploring.

Questions readers ask

Read next

• Is Dementia Hereditary? What Families Ask Before a Move
• Can Someone With Dementia Sign Legal Documents in New York?
• Reminiscence Therapy for Dementia and How Families Can Use It at Home